Lines In Wax

THIRTEEN YEARS OF UNWANTED OPINION

erotica

Behind The Green Door (1972)

Behind The Green Door (1972)

Where does porn end and exploitation film begin? Sometimes the line is blurry, or hard to define. In the case of Behind The Green Door, the line is pretty clear cut. Starring the same lass that was in Cronenberg’s Rabid, Green Door tells the story of a girl who is kidnapped and taken to an elite sex club, where she is fucked in all manner of ways from (and to) Sunday. Apparently, this did so much for the pornographic world back in the day, and included a highly controversial interracial scene. Honestly, it hasn’t really aged that well at all, but I’m glad I watched it.

Belle De Jour (1967)

Belle De Jour (1967)

So this was my first experience with the films of Luis Bunuel. I love the imagery so excuse the flurry of different covers that I’ve provided alongside this post. I remember a few years ago a local cinema showing this for one night only, and I didn’t go because I didn’t want to be seen as the perv who went on his own to see this kinda thing. Boy, do I regret that decision. Belle De Jour is a classic of French cinema, and despite its themes of prostitution, and masochism, it is beautifully filmed and skillfully restrained (lol). What I like most about this is that the lines between dream and reality continue to blur. Sometimes it is hard to tell whether Belle is in this world or her own. Topping that off, the whole thing looks gorgeous, all of the women too are beyond stunning, and the film is a true treat, despite its age. I really didn’t expect to fall so much in love in this, but fall in love I did. Brilliant stuff! 

Pirates (2005)

Pirates (2005)

Yes, I am actually reviewing Pirates. A new low for Lines In Wax – our first ever porno review! Haha! In my recent sleaze-engulfed foray into horror and sexploitation film history, I thought it fitting that I should check out a full length feature pornographic movie. I thought that the line between sleazy exploitation and actual pornography, especially because of some of the more intensely risque exploitation stuff, would be fairly blurry, but it is not. It also quite jarring how the story escalates into full blown porn scenes, often with absolutely no tact. I wasn’t expecting Hamlet, but still. Honestly though, this is nowhere near as bad as I thought it would be, which was surprising. Sex wise (let’s just get this part out of the way) the scenes are super sterile, incredibly unerotic porn shoots that cater to the lowest common denominator. Some of the girl-girl scenes invoke a little more passion, but still fall into the category of “Porn for people who read Nuts magazine”. But, the story in between all of the soulless fucking is actually pretty hilarious. Evan Stone as Captain Edward Reynolds is brilliant – invoking the onscreen lovechild of Jack Sparrow and Zap Brannigan – as is his sidekick Jules Steel, played by Jesse Jane. These are the most entertaining couple in the fairly large cast, with the villains being rather boring and wooden (pun intended). At one point, a legion of CGI fucking skeletons rises from the ground and engages our heroes in combat, which was an unexpected touch. It was nice to see that some of the supposed $1,000,000 budget actually got spent on special effects, rather than just on industrial quantities of tanning lotion, cialis and anal bleach. Would I recommend you actually watch this, though? Nah, probably not.