Lines In Wax

THIRTEEN YEARS OF UNWANTED OPINION

slasher

Halloween (2018)

Halloween (2018)

Ah, here comes the inevitable disappointment. No? Well, that’s a relief. Although I will say watching this made me feel empty. Why? Maybe its because it disregards all original Halloween sequels. Sure, awful as they mostly are, you’re making a bold statement by erasing a chunk of horror cinema history to rewrite it with… what, exactly? Did the entire Halloween franchise really need to be undone for this? What does it offer in continuation or closure to the Halloween series? Absolutely fuck all. Is it a good slasher? I guess it is. Its just the gravitas that came with it inevitably set it up to fail.

Friday The 13th Part III (1982)

Friday The 13th Part III (1982)

I don’t what it is about my relationship with Friday The 13th, but my patience for this series is much lower than others. 3 carries on pretty much where 2 left off, but I cannot bring myself to even care what happens. Jason recovers from his wounds and the bloodbath continues. All in all, bias aside, Friday The 13th Part 3 is a fairly average slasher, and I won’t be rushing out to enjoy the 4th instalment in the series.

The Toolbox Murders (1978)

The Toolbox Murders (1978)

This is a strange one. The movie starts off as one of the more depraved exploitation films I’ve encountered thus far; scene after scene of gratuitous nudity and horrendous violence towards women randomly peters out after half hour and the movie turns into this slow investigation / psychological piece. It is bizarre to see pretty much all of the slasher kills over and done with in one go, and honestly, it really effects the pacing and the remaining hour is an absolute slog to get through. A shame, as the snuff-vibes of this thing are totally minging to begin with. Toolbox Murders is brutal, but it really misses the mark.

The House On Sorority Row (1982)

The House On Sorority Row (1982)

I’ve often heard of this film referred to as the “forgotten slasher”, where people imply that it fell into obscurity, when similar film such as Halloween or Friday The 13th went on to be powerhouses of cinema. Unfortunately, this effort can not be put in the same ballpark as the others mentioned here. Think of this as a combination of Scream and a Friday The 13th sequel. Throw in a bunch of medical mumbo jumbo, a veritable bevy of young ladies, a truckload of partying jocks, and you’ve pretty much got all the ingredients for this borefest. Despite there being literally zero gore or flesh (save for a decapitation scene where a head ends up down a toilet), and the acting being incredibly sub par in comparisons to the rest of the overall quality of the production, I did – for reasons that aren’t immediately clear to me – rather enjoy this. Just don’t expect much. 

Scream 3 (2000)

Scream 3 (2000)

The ridiculousness continues with Scream 3, which is more meta and bizarre than ever before. I can see why they originally decided to leave it there after rounding out the trilogy (something a lot of horror franchises could do with), as the plot – by this point – has gotten very ridiculous. That being said, this is a very entertaining movie, and hands down beats the 2nd instalment of the series.

Scream 2 (1997)

Scream 2 (1997)

Scream 2 is probably my least favourite of the whole franchise. Whilst I get that the series’ whole shtick is how meta it is, this is taken to nauseating heights with the insufferable know it all characters on the university set. Entertaining yes, but they also fucked the landing with the ending so it easily comes in as the weakest entry in my eyes, Sarah Michelle Gellar or no.

Scream (1996)

Scream (1996)

Dug this out recently for our “Its October So Lets Watch More Bad Movies Than Usual Month”, and I realised that I hadn’t seen Scream in so long that I couldn’t remember who the killer was in the original movie. There is eye candy galore in this Wes Craven classic, and although the plot is a bit daft, as an older and wiser (and more bitter) individual I can now get most of the horror movie references that this movie flaunts shamelessly. It changed the slasher genre forever, and to be honest hasn’t aged all that badly.

Scream 4 (2011)

Scream 4 (2011)

I always remember enjoying Scream 4 more than the previous sequels but a recent rewatch for Halloween proved otherwise. It’s been a few weeks since I’ve watched this, and honestly I’ve already forgotten the majority of the plot. That can’t be good. It’s worth noting that this is the goriest of the Scream films. I’ve watched some of the grimmest and most questionable of exploitation cinema, but something just feels incredibly wrong and jarring about the extreme graphic violence of Scream 4. There’s one scene where a girl is literally hacked to pieces and her intestines are all over the bed and I really can’t put my finger on it but when high school dickwads are just laughing and joking in the next scenes it feels wrong. Yeah, that’s badly put, but something didn’t feel right for me here.