Lines In Wax

TWELVE YEARS OF UNWANTED OPINION

Day: September 22, 2021

Inquisition – Invoking The Majestic Throne Of Satan (2002)
black metal

Inquisition – Invoking The Majestic Throne Of Satan (2002)

When I first heard Inquisition I just couldn’t get my head around those vocals. It seems to me, if say, Immortal is the stiff, erect cock of Satan, ready to fuck everything in its path, then Inquisition is that same cock, but flaccid and floundering; its possessor riddled with anxiety and dysfunction. All the parts are there, as it were, but they aren’t much use to anyone whilst swinging about with such half-arsed delivery. Musically, the duo are on point on this 2002 recording, but unfortunately the same cannot be said for the vocal performance. However, it is something of an acquired taste, on here on Invoking…, they don’t seem to bug me as much as some of the band’s other records.

Cradle Of Filth – The Manticore (And Other Horrors) (2012)
metal

Cradle Of Filth – The Manticore (And Other Horrors) (2012)

So, I finally confronted what is, in my opinion, the worst Cradle record. The band was reduced to a 3-piece at this point, and we’re more or less listening to the Paul Allender show. Cynically, I could suggest that Manticore (and lets not forget its various other horrors) is like listening to Thornography Part 2, but I think that would be an insult to even Thornography. Make of that album what you will, but at least it was catchy and poppy in parts. Manticore is unfortunately, the most boring and uninteresting thing Cradle have ever done. Sure, everything is here, but never before nor after has everything ever felt so mechanical and lifeless. Manticore is Cradle by the numbers, by the book, with riffs harking back to their arguably second-worst record, Thornography, but without any of the actual charm that record did have. Across the board, this project was a total failure, despite the talent involved, and I can’t help but compare this to the album that followed it (the incredible Hammer Of The Witches). Manticore was a completely unnecessary release from a band that was on its knees. Luckily, they (or Dani and a bunch of new bloods) bounced back once again and have been going strong more or less since. Long live Cradle.

Iron Maiden – Iron Maiden (1980)
metal

Iron Maiden – Iron Maiden (1980)

Iron Maiden’s debut is a class affair. The band were about for a good few years before this dropped so I guess they had plenty of time to hone their craft, but what a debut this is! That warm analogue sound is perfect, the bass pops from the word go, cementing Steve Harris as a legendary player from the very beginning. That isn’t to detract from the rest of the band however, all of which are on top form here as the band kick off their illustrious career, discography wise.

Esham – Mail Dominance (1999)
hip hop

Esham – Mail Dominance (1999)

The fact that I listened to Mail Dominance within the last few weeks yet can remember absolutely nothing about it doesn’t exactly speak volumes about its quality. Musically, its not a million miles away from Gothom City, but isn’t as silly as that album. A solid mid-career effort from Esham, but it can’t beat the old shit.

Libido Airbag – Barrel Blow Job (2001)
electronic grindcore

Libido Airbag – Barrel Blow Job (2001)

The uhh, subtly named Barrel Blow Job was the first Libido Airbag record that I heard, I think when I was 16 or 17. Honestly, it really spun me out, as it was like nothing I had ever heard before. Sure, I’d heard reams of crappy pornogrind / cybergrind on MySpace, stuff which I suppose ripped this kinda thing off but just really badly, but I’d never heard anything quite so dirgy and heavy, with an electronic element. The closest thing beforehand would probably have been XXX Maniak, but Libido Airbag seemed even more sleazy and obscure. I’m not sure what part of my brain this appeals to, but there was something about the mix of horrible guitars and cheap electronics – not to mention the bizarre vocals – that really created the perfect balance of sleaze. Some of the sampling is a bit shit but if you like weird and wonderful music, I’d give this a go.

Electric Wizard – Black Masses (2010)
doom metal

Electric Wizard – Black Masses (2010)

When it first came out, it took me a while to get used to the sound on Black Masses. The entire thing sounds like it was recorded in a wind tunnel. It wasn’t until I heard a vinyl press over at a friend’s house, that it made a little more sense to me. Granted, it still sounds a bit hollow, even on IEM earpieces, but there are some great songs here. Try to listen to “Venus In Furs” without hearing “my penis, it burns”. There we go, I’ve ruined that song for ya. Sorry!

Impaled Nazarene – Death Comes In 26 Carefully Selected Pieces (2005)
black metal

Impaled Nazarene – Death Comes In 26 Carefully Selected Pieces (2005)

When I bought this, I was 15, and I didn’t realise that it was a live album. I bought it because it had 26 songs on it, and I figured it may even be a grindcore record! LOL – it was in 2005 and I was on holiday and didn’t have access to the internet. It certainly turned out to not be a grindcore record, but it was still a fucking great live album. I’ve grown to since really get into Impaled Nazarene, but some of the live recordings here are savage. The drums are incredible, and those vocals are out of this world. It constantly sounds like the guy’s head is gonna pop off!

Gwar – Beyond Hell (2006)
thrash metal

Gwar – Beyond Hell (2006)

Fuck, how good is this? Easily the best later Gwar record with Oderous on vocals, and thats tough competition. There really is so much more to Gwar than the gimmick and this record is the perfect example. Technical, concept-heavy thrash, with insane vocals and incredible instrumentation. One of the best thrash records I’ve heard in a while. RIP Oderous and Cory.

Björk – Vulnicura (2015)
electronic pop

Björk – Vulnicura (2015)

I remember this record coming out as if it was yesterday. It marked a turn in direction for Björk, who I understand was going through a lot of personal stuff at the time. Not only is the tone and content darker, the songs are impenetrable and sprawling. Björk has released plenty of difficult or challenging records, but this album is almost painful an experience when listening from start to finish. I guess in some regards that is kind of the point, where the venom being extracted slowly and difficultly is in its own way a healing process. However that by no means makes it an easy experience for the listener. I think this is the most difficult and impenetrable Björk album to date.

Devin Townsend Project – Ki (2009)
rock

Devin Townsend Project – Ki (2009)

There is no denying the sheer musicianship on display here, from Devin and all of his collaborators. Everything hangs perfect in the balance, and even the man’s famous wall-of-noise production style is dialled back to allow the songs to breathe a bit. However, if I had to describe Ki with one word, that word would be “listless”. Honestly, this is one of the longest listening hours of my life, and the fact that I’ve had this on the LIW to-do list since 2014 speaks volumes. Honestly, this goes absolutely nowhere. Its one for die hard Devy fans, I’d say.

Tomahawk – Oddfellows (2013)
rock

Tomahawk – Oddfellows (2013)

Oddfellows is probably one of the tamest Mike Patton releases I’ve ever heard. Here the legend fronts an almost stonery outfit who play decently catchy numbers, mixing elements of punk rock, even grunge and a bit of classic rock. The record seems longer than 40 minutes, but it doesn’t drag. Its a decent set of tracks but not really my thing. If it wasn’t for Patton’s involvement I wouldn’t have ever listened to this.

Meth Camp – The False Promises Of Liberal Veganism And Green Technology Have Not Only Failed To Avert Climate Catastrophe, But Have Exacerbated Ecological Collapse (2020)
grindcore

Meth Camp – The False Promises Of Liberal Veganism And Green Technology Have Not Only Failed To Avert Climate Catastrophe, But Have Exacerbated Ecological Collapse (2020)

Gross, obtuse, unforgiving and deafening noisecore is the order of the day, in what is a series of incredibly short blasts of noise. Honestly, its been a while since I’ve heard some noisecore as good as this, so its a rare treat. The final track, in stark contrast to the countless others, is 13 minutes or so of absolute carnage. 10/10.

Tangerine Dream – Alpha Centauri (1971)
electronic

Tangerine Dream – Alpha Centauri (1971)

Alpha Centauri is one of the records that caused me to fall in love with Tangerine Dream in the first place. Truly, what a magical performance of synth-work, one which I am sure I can do no justice. Phaedra is the early record that seems to get all the hype, but truly this is the god tier TD stuff. Hunt it down and have a goosey if you don’t believe me.

Fluids – Not Dark Yet (2021)
death metal

Fluids – Not Dark Yet (2021)

You can always count on Fluids to push the boundaries of what is acceptable. Not Dark Yet wheels out one of the most disturbing samples I’ve ever heard for its opening track, before collapsing headfirst into some intense downtuned death metal. Fluids are easily the Mortician of this generation, replacing horror movie samples with audible terror sourced from the real world. The instrumentation is sick as fuck, and there’s some super interesting flourishes in the drum programming, with some almost trap-like rushes on the hi-hats. Its a bizarre addition, but it works! Its also worth mentioning that Not Dark Yet is the first full length with the band’s new vocalist, the dude from Thorn (not Thorns), who’s name escapes me at this time (it’s Brennen Westermeyer – Ed).