Slam Coke – First Cookie: Fick Die Bude Kaputt (2011)

This is, objectively, one of the worst things that I have ever heard. Its been saved on my Spotify albums list since 2014, where I was recommended it by some absolute arseclown it seems.

So what we have here is beatdown music with techno elements. Everything about that sentence makes me want to die inside, but the techno elements are actually pretty good. As far as beatdowns and slams go, well, this isn’t dirty enough to be slam but it is well put together and polished enough to fall in with all the other generic beatdown horse shit that’s out there. No, where the real unforgivable acts happen is in the vocal performances, which are truly desperate and awkward from the word go. There are some impressive lows, but that’s it, and that isn’t enough to save this absolute shitshow from falling over the edge into the abyss that claimed every other stupid fucking band that sounds exactly like this.