Artery Eruption – Reduced To A Limbless Sexslave (2003)

This thing has been in Spotify “to do” list for absolutely fucking aeons, and every time I open it I am reminded why. It is if my brain, in some mad coping mechanism, blacks out all memory of ever hearing this album. Usually the human mind reserves this sort of thing for deeply traumatic events in life, like for instance, a car accident or a horrifying sexual assault. But, Reduced To A Limbless Sex Slave is so nauseatingly, traumatically, unbelievably awful that my brain seems to class the experience of listening to it as a horrific life event.

I mean, I listen to gorenoise for fucks sake. There must be like, what, two hundred people on the entire planet who like that shit. Despite it’s tiring tropes, I am also partial to slam and brutal death metal. But this….this is something else. Whoever sat down and thought “yeah, this is a perfectly acceptable sound for a professionally released album” needs their head checked. The absolute crying shame of it all is that I don’t think Artery Eruption are all that bad, I just want to know who decided to release an album that sounds like it was recorded inside a decommissioned industrial oven on a Windows 95 laptop with a £5 webcam microphone.

Pass. For the love of God, pass.