Cradle Of Filth – Total Fucking Darkness (2014)

When I first heard of this reissue I was all like – Fuuuuuuuu-u-u-u-u-uck that shit. The price being charged for a copy of this remastered old demo was nothing short of total fucking extortion (kek). I think the fact that it took the almighty unit-shifting Cradle of Filth a month or two to sell the 666 vinyl copies of this album shows that I was not alone in this way of thinking. If a band as big and successful (in the metal world) as Cradle can’t shift around six hundred limited edition records, then something is wrong. Cradle fans aren’t Sunn O))) fans with wallets bursting with cash for limited vinyl from the salaries of ICT or marketing jobs. Cradle fans are (generally) teenagers, who have little to no money. So yep; a farcical cash in on a piece of shit recording the band did when they were kids.

Or is it? Despite being put off by the grubby money grabbing tactics surrounding this release, it sounds absolutely fantastic! If you’ve ever been tempted to foray in the world of Cradle’s early tape demos you will surely sympathise with me when I say it’s a complete waste of time. You get a brief outline of the death-metal-with-keyboards outfit the band was in its inception, but serious listening is rendered nigh on impossible by the abysmal production / tape duplication quality. So the clarity presented finally to these cobweb-encrusted gothic nightmares is extremely welcome. I’m just not willing to take out a second mortgage to permanently own them.